Why is Relationship Coaching needed?

We have a powerful need and desire for coupling that drives us into and out of relationships. In recent times we seem to have developed a “need” to be happy and have a decreasing tolerance for delayed gratification. When we are single, we want to be in a relationship. When we are in an unhappy relationship most of us attempt to improve it and eventually leave if it doesn’t get better.

A generation or two ago, men and women dated, married, had families, and rarely divorced. Everyone seemed to know the rules and followed them. “Fulfillment” was not a priority and unhappiness was not cause for divorce. Then our society changed; the rules changed; life and relationships became much more complex. We want to be happy, but we don’t know how. We are traveling to a vague destination without a map or compass, and are not aware of what is causing us to be off track.

Here are some facts that make a strong case for relationship coaching:

  • There are more single people today than ever in history – 101 million in the U.S., 46% of the adult population (28% in 1970)
  • Over 25% of households are single occupant households (17% in 1970)
  • 53% of households are married couples (70% in 1970)
  • The marriage rate is decreasing, and is at its lowest in 30 years
  • The divorce rate has remained stable since 1988
  • While the exact divorce rate is a matter of debate, experts agree that somewhere between 40 and 60% of all marriages will end in divorce, and that for every marriage there is about one divorce.
  • Co-habitation has increased by 1,200% over the past 30 years and becoming the norm, whereas 40 years ago it was a rare occurrence.
  • The failure rate of co-habitation relationships is more than 80%.
  • The percentage of young adults who say that having a good marriage is extremely important to them is increasing (94% in one study)
  • The majority of first-born children are now conceived by, or born to, unmarried parents.
  • Half of all children will spend some time in a single parent family.
  • Children who live in single parent families have a higher incidence of behavioral problems, likelihood of dropping out of school, drug or alcohol abuse, and divorcing later in life.
  • 43% of first marriages end within 15 years.
  • 39% of remarriages end within 10 years.
  • More than 85% of all adults marry at least once.
  • Second and third marriages have a higher incidence of failure.

A summary of a 1999 study by David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the National Marriage Project of Rutgers University on “The State Of Our Unions: The Social Health Of Marriage in America” states: “Key social indicators suggest a substantial weakening of the institution of marriage. Americans have become less likely to marry. When they do marry their marriages are less happy. And married couples face a high likelihood of divorce. Over the past four decades, marriage has declined as the first living together experience for couples and as a status of parenthood. Unmarried cohabitation and unwed births have grown enormously, and so has the percentage of children who grow up in fragile families.”

Sources:
U.S. Census Bureau www.census.gov
SmartMarriages www.smartmarriages.com
National Marriage Project virginia.edu/marriageproject/
American Association For Single People www.unmarriedamerica.com