Why is Relationship Coaching needed?

We have a powerful need and desire for coupling that drives us into and out of relationships. In recent times we seem to have developed a “need” to be happy and have a decreasing tolerance for delayed gratification. When we are single, we want to be in a relationship. When we are in an unhappy relationship most of us attempt to improve it and eventually leave if it doesn’t get better.

A generation or two ago, men and women dated, married, had families, and rarely divorced. Everyone seemed to know the rules and followed them. “Fulfillment” was not a priority and unhappiness was not cause for divorce. Then our society changed; the rules changed; life and relationships became much more complex. We want to be happy, but we don’t know how. We are traveling to a vague destination without a map or compass, and are not aware of what is causing us to be off track.

Here are some facts that make a strong case for relationship coaching:

  • There are more single people today than ever in history – 101 million in the U.S., 46% of the adult population (28% in 1970)
  • Over 25% of households are single occupant households (17% in 1970)
  • 53% of households are married couples (70% in 1970)
  • The marriage rate is decreasing, and is at its lowest in 30 years
  • The divorce rate has remained stable since 1988
  • While the exact divorce rate is a matter of debate, experts agree that somewhere between 40 and 60% of all marriages will end in divorce, and that for every marriage there is about one divorce.
  • Co-habitation has increased by 1,200% over the past 30 years and becoming the norm, whereas 40 years ago it was a rare occurrence.
  • The failure rate of co-habitation relationships is more than 80%.
  • The percentage of young adults who say that having a good marriage is extremely important to them is increasing (94% in one study)
  • The majority of first-born children are now conceived by, or born to, unmarried parents.
  • Half of all children will spend some time in a single parent family.
  • Children who live in single parent families have a higher incidence of behavioral problems, likelihood of dropping out of school, drug or alcohol abuse, and divorcing later in life.
  • 43% of first marriages end within 15 years.
  • 39% of remarriages end within 10 years.
  • More than 85% of all adults marry at least once.
  • Second and third marriages have a higher incidence of failure.

A summary of a 1999 study by David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the National Marriage Project of Rutgers University on “The State Of Our Unions: The Social Health Of Marriage in America” states: “Key social indicators suggest a substantial weakening of the institution of marriage. Americans have become less likely to marry. When they do marry their marriages are less happy. And married couples face a high likelihood of divorce. Over the past four decades, marriage has declined as the first living together experience for couples and as a status of parenthood. Unmarried cohabitation and unwed births have grown enormously, and so has the percentage of children who grow up in fragile families.”

U.S. Census Bureau www.census.gov
SmartMarriages www.smartmarriages.com
National Marriage Project virginia.edu/marriageproject/
American Association For Single People www.unmarriedamerica.com